I have in fact found a job. Though it is tough but I am gradually starting to like it more. I have never worked in the restaurant business before so I have no idea what I’m doing. Hopefully soon I will get the hang of it and start making great money. I have a lot of things I want/need to save up for. I really want to invest in a few retro analogue cameras. I also want a new digital one as well. I have fallen in love with photography and want to do it as much as possible. I also want to invest in a MacBook Pro. I will (hopefully, fingers crossed) be attending graduate school next fall so it will be well worth it. Not to mention I am a fashion junkie so a new fall wardrobe is in order.
I have been struggling lately when it comes to being what I call “Leiden sick.” I miss that place immensely. Sometimes my heart actually hurts. I think about the beautiful cobblestone streets, architecture, cannals, boats, bikes, flowers, stores, and people I saw each and everyday and I yearn for it. I want to sit by the canal with a book and read. I want to feed the crazy ducks. I want to walk to the store, buy Dutch milk, bread, cheese and goodies then walk them back home. I want to see all my friends. While most of us are back in the US we’re all over. I’m the only one in the Southeastern United States. It’s amazing how close we got over that period of time. I miss my room in Hugo de Grootstraat. My loafted bed and my big window. I miss hearing Dutch being spoken. I miss attempting to speak it. I’d do anything to walk into a store and hear “goedemiddag!” Or “dank u wel”, or “alstublieft”, or “hallo!” I miss riding trains. I really miss the trains. It was a time I could clear my head. I dislike driving and in the city I currently live in you have to drive everywhere because everything is so spread out. While I was in the Netherlands I don’t think I realize how much I had fallen in love with the culture. Reflecting back now I truly have and I absolutely cannot wait until the next time I land at Schiphol Airport in Amsterdam. I’ll feel like I’ve arrived home. Or the next time my train stops at Leiden Centraal and I can walk on Haarlemmerstraat, Breestraat and Hugo de Grootstraat! That is something I am thoroughly looking forward to. What I’d really like to do is take someone I care for. Hopefully a significant other and/or my sister and show them around. I want to take loads and loads of pictures as well. I can’t wait. It will happen.
All in all… I am pretty happy right now. I’m currently staying with one of my bestfriend’s Eva. I’m hoping that in the next few months I will be in the groove of things at my job and things will be more stable. There are a few other things I’m hopeful about/looking forward to but I don’t want to jinx them so I’ll update in the future. I don’t REALLY want to be living in Raleigh but things are all going to fall into place and hopefully within the next few years I’ll be able to relocate to a place that I feel suits me more.
I’m working on investing more time in my interests and what makes me happy. I definitely lost a lot of that while I was in my last relationship. I lost myself basically. And I can gradually feel myself coming back together. Even better this time. I am trying not to get my hopes up because I tend to do that but I feel like things are just going to continue getting better. I see no reason as to why they wouldn’t. I want to go on more hikes, road trips, concerts, try new restaurants, photog adventures, and shopping ops! It’s time to have some fun.